"Never in your gringa life sit in the back of the bus!"

Today was a long day.
It was the day for all the university students to go to each department and listen to them talk about their courses, talk to them about their courses, and fill out a list of preferences. So basically it was a lot of confusion about what classes to take and how to fit them in your schedule. I was there from 9:30 til around 12 doing that, then we had a break from 12-3 so some of us walked around and ate lunch.
At 3 we had a safety talk called "Surviving Lima." It scared the living daylights out of me, not gonna lie. Here are some of the highlights:
-If you need assistance from the police, ask the municipal police, not the national police, because they can't be trusted.
-Use your "gringa card." In other words, bat your eyes and say "no entiendo" in your sweet little accent, so that the Peruvian guy's macho instincts will kick in and he'll be protective of you.
-Don't take a Tico, if it wrecks, it will crumple and you will die.
-If there's an earthquake and you're in a tall building, pray, because you're probably about to die.
-If you're on the bus and someone drops their coins by your feet, don't bend down to pick them up, because that's when they jack your purse.
-If you're on the bus and someone spits on you, don't crouch away in disgust, because that's when they jack your purse.
-Never sit in the back of the bus, because everyone on a bus looks forward, and 2 guys will sit on either side of you and hold knives to you're sides so that you're stuck and they can rob you.
-Never get on an empty bus, because they can drive away with you.
--Here's a special section for taxi safety:
 ---Only get in the white or yellow taxis or a radio taxi that you've called. But make sure you ask for the color and plates when you call, because other taxis intercept the radio.
 ---Sit in the back behind the driver (so he can't shoot you as easily), check to make sure the doors open from the inside, lock all doors, put your purse under your legs so someone on the street doesn't punch through the glass and grab it, crack your window in case the driver sprays something at you that makes you fall asleep, if you're getting in a station wagon make sure you check the back so that someone's not hiding in the trunk ready to pop out at you, and make a pretend phone call to someone saying where you're going, when to expect you there, and what color car you're in, in Spanish so that they know you're not just a tourist.
 ---Watch out for Peruvians who want to get in a relationship with you or knock you up, because they just want a green card. According to her, they're also known as Companeros PUCP :)
 ---Don't go to the bars in a few neighborhoods because they bartenders "sell you." Especially blondes. For example, a guy goes up to the bar and says "I want that one" and pays the bartender 100 soles. Then, when "that one" orders a drink, the bartender drugs it.


That being said. Don't worry Mom! I'm having a great time!